Cultural Differences: Kissing

In addition to the power-point presentation on “the abroad experience” the Tufts in Chile pre-departure meeting included little chit chat session with some Tufts in Chile veterans. This session was quite helpful, as they gave us some cultural tips about Santiago. One student made a particularly memorable comment. He explained that we would witness many couples making out on park benches, in the streets, and pretty much any public space. He explained that this was because most Chileans live at home until they get married, and therefore need to find places other than their parents’ houses to make-out. I wouldn’t say that this is the only explanation for the PDA (public displays of affection) in Santiago. I believe that it is also more culturally acceptable to publicly express ones romantic emotions. Very Latin.

Exempli Gratia…
The other day I was riding the train (or the “metro”), and there was a couple making out about a foot and a half away from me. I don’t want to say it was disgusting, but it was disgusting. I could practically smell their breath. (In case it hasn’t been made clear yet, I am an immature pre-teen trapped in a bitter twenty-year-old's body. Though some people seem to think it’s the other way around). So, being the asshole that I am, I turned to them and said (in Spanish, of course), “I’ll give you 200 pesos if you stop making out.” They looked at me in utter disgust. Luckily I don’t have too much of an American accent, so they couldn’t call me a stupid Gringa. They quickly moved away from me as a nearby woman tried to restrain her laughter.
Okay, so that didn’t actually happen. Unfortunately, I’m not that audacious. And, luckily, I’m not that rude. Despite my prudish prejudices around where it is appropriate to make out, I often find the PDA endearing. As an advocate for peace, acceptance, unity, and all that other gushy stuff, I can certainly appreciate people expressing their love for each other. So go ahead, Chileans, make out all you want. Thank you for not fighting in public, or killing each other, or dropping bombs on foreign lands.

Another Kind of Kiss:
In my experience, Salutations around the world can be confusing. In Japan, bowing is customary. In Europe, one might shake hands, or kiss on the cheek two or three times depending on the country. Here in Chile, and in many other Latin American countries, the appropriate way to say ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ is to kiss once on the cheek. This goes for meeting someone new, or for greeting an old friend. In the US, however, I find that just saying a friendly, “hi” or, “bye” will suffice to be considered polite. Some people even go for a hug if they’re feeling joyful. And when we meet someone, we generally shake hands, or do an apathetic wave.
In a country where kissing is customary, however, extending a hand is seen as a bit cold. So us Gringos have to adjust to the warm ways of Latin American culture. It can be a little awkward when you forget that you’re in Chile, and you go in for the handshake, and they go in for the cheek kiss (almost as awkward as when you go in for the cheek kiss and they go in for the real kiss). Either you have poked them in the stomach, forced them to back away from you, or ungracefully bumped into their face.
Some people are really good, and do the arms wide-open thing. That way they can go for a hug, kiss, or handshake while also appearing quite friendly. On the other hand, apathetic waves and bows don’t work so well after that.
I would say that the best thing to do in a foreign cultural salutation situation is to take a small step forward, and/or wait to see what the other person does. That way you can do an apathetic wave, bow, hug, kiss, or shake hands without making an arse out of yourself. The only problem is that they might be thinking the same thing. In that case, I just rock/paper/scissors my salutations and hope that they pick the same one.

Exempli Gratia…
Today, after Sociología Economica, whom do I run into at the bus stop? None other than the professor who’d just given the day’s lecture. !! Despite often feeling like a spastic cat on the inside, I’ve learned to keep a calm and collected composure on the outside. Today was no different. Though I was flipping out throughout the bus and train ride home with my professor, I managed to articulate short sentences, and keep up the small talk. He even told me that I spoke well and had a nice mix of Gringo (boo), Chilean (eh), and Colombian (yay) accents. On the train ride, he told me about his work as a musician, and his research with the United Nations on gender inequalities. As the train pulled into my stop, I began to worry. Ahh. How is this goodbye going to work?!, thought I. Professors often kiss their students of all ages, but this logic did not register as I stood there swooning. Luckily, he leaned in for the customary kiss on the cheek before I had to make any decisions (whew).