Anywhere

Christmas day has never felt so unreal. I've been back in the United States for 11 days now, yet I am still re-adjusting to "my culture." Last night, my dear friend Kortney reminded me that I was not raised in the US (I was, but she used to joke around and say that my home was like an environment outside of the US; almost a mix of European, South American, Asian, and the unusual ways of my parents). Her comment made me wonder about my re-adjustment process. That I might never re-adjust because I was never completely involved. It's a pleasant and discomforting feeling to be in such a "limbo." For example, when I miss speaking Spanish I turn to my mother and am reminded my study abroad experience, and my Colombian culture. On the other hand, I now automatically - and passively - resist all those things that remind me of exploitation.

So my mom put up the red and green decorations, we, as usual, don't have a Christmas tree, friends and family are calling and texting, but something is lost about the holiday. Perhaps I still feel as though I'm up in the air: In a small airplane cabin flying between two cultures - two worlds. And though they both have shaped my life, occupying the space in between the two removes the meaning that they once had. And so the space we inhabit as cross-cultural individuals may be less of a limbo, and more of a possibility, for I suppose I can go anywhere now.