Saturday, August 15, 2009

On Being American

It is likely that I will write several posts that comment on my country of origin. Perhaps, I have already conveyed a distaste for the United States and for Americans in general. (Even the word “American” bothers me. Why do we decide to call ourselves “American” as if to ignore the two full continents of people who are also from America?) I blame my dislike for the U.S. on my parents (thank you, parents), for they have always been critical of the United States and American culture. I must emphasize that I do not hate Americans – that would be a silly generalization. In fact, my best friends are American, my father is American, and I consider myself to be more than half American. But, as Tim Wise (timwise.org) claims to hate Whiteness, as opposed to hating White people, I just hate American-ness. But what is American-ness? It’s a bit difficult to define, but I’ll give it a shot. In my opinion, American-ness is an unquestioned ignorance about the foreign cultures that are exploited in order to support our lifestyle, an apathetic comfort with imperialism, a sense of entitlement to anything and everything around the world, a desire for power and a lack of responsibility, always viewing ones self as heroic, material indulgence, insensitivity to people of other nations and cultures, Hollywood, and probably a lot of other things. I can’t really blame American-ness on any one person, or even on Americans themselves. Like whiteness, it is something that us Americans are taught to not see, or question, or destroy. After all, how could (and why would) such powerful society breed self-destruction?

So why am I so critical of the U.S. if this American-ness is not even an innate quality of ours? One: because I like to analyze society - if it’s all a social construction than it can be changed, right? Two: I believe that whenever there is a social power imbalance, the group with the most power should be criticized in order to resist the forces of a destructive hegemony. Three: because I am American, and believe that I have the responsibility to be self-critical.

As noted in my previous post, I slept all day today. Now I can’t fall asleep. So I decided to go to one of my favorite news sources, Frontline on PBS.org. I could watch Frontline documentaries all day, for they are truly fascinating. This time, I clicked on a short video clip about illegal immigrant workers from Guatemala. My internet connection was slow, so I read through the comments before watching the short clip. And there it was. American-ness. To be fair, some people made constructive points. But the, “If you don’t have money, don’t have kids” comment was pretty insulting. I think that fits into, “insensitivity to people of other nations and cultures.”
But then again, what do I know? Seriously. I come from a set of prejudices, and so does he. Why should I get to say who's being "insensitive"?

Here’s the clip: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/story/2009/08/that-summer-barbecue.html

To relate all of this to my current country of residence (and my other nationality), Chile “nuanced criticism” of Colombia’s decision to host U.S. army bases. There we go again, exercising our sense of entitlement and imperialism around the world. Though Chile was not as critical as Venezuela or Bolivia, I appreciate the slap on the hand.

The article: http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/20783/

Friday, August 14, 2009

Being Sick Isn't So Bad

Despite having no academic work (or any work at all) since leaving Tufts in early May, I feel as though I’ve been going non-stop all summer. Two weeks after school ended, I packed a small suitcase and flew to Basel, Switzerland, where I would begin a semi-independent trip through Europe. I saw five countries in five weeks. Thankfully, I had the comfort of staying with my godmother and my parents’ friends for most of the trip. However, I always had the excited discomfort (is that some kind of anxiety?) of not knowing where I was, of not knowing the language, of not feeling integrated in the culture, and of not really traveling with any friends, aside from the five days that I crossed paths with Lily. On the other hand, Western European cultures are not that difficult to adapt to, especially since they are equally – if not more – luxurious than American culture. In addition, so many people speak English that any important transactions can be done fairly smoothly. Ten days after arriving in the United States, I packed three seasons worth of clothes, and flew to Chile. I can’t say I’m not living the good life. Still, the luxury of so much travel can be a bit tiring. Tiring in a good way - but tiring. Or, perhaps, what I mean to say is that I’ve been kept on my toes this summer.

The sore throat and runny nose that crept up on me two days ago hasn’t gotten my spirits down as sickness often does. In fact, it has taken me off my toes, forcing me to slow down, and let go of feeling unsettled in my environment. It didn’t start off too well. Sitting through my Historia Social de América Latina was a little miserable. Nasal congestion and sore throats make it difficult to listen to lectures and take notes in ones non-dominant language. Later, In my ceramics class, my friend (Yes!! I have a Chilean friend! Her name is Mariluz. She’s friends with all of the gringos. She even invited us to her birthday party!!) suggested that I take “Tapsin,” which, I assume, is similar to NyQuil. When I got home, I told my host mom, Alejandra, that I wasn’t feeling so hot. She checked if I had a fever. No fever. She asked if I was going to take any medicine. Yes - Tapsin! She then immediately refilled my hot water bottle (called a Guatero, a.k.a my personal heater and best friend), and told me to get some rest. Later, she brought my dinner to my room so that I wouldn’t have to get out of bed to eat. And she’s been attending me ever since. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time in bed. I’ve had all three meals (plus once) in my room. I watched some Chilean television, I tried doing some reading for class, I talked to my real mom, and I sent some emails. Most importantly, I slept. Plus, I’m getting better.

Monday, August 10, 2009

As Promised

Pictures!!
Last weekend we went on a day trip to Pomaire, a small town known for its hand made pottery. We got to see the whole pottery-making process, and we later had the opportunity to use the pottery wheel. The potter who did the demonstration made it look all look so easy...


We began with a delicious breakfast. Later, we walked to the Potter's house.


The earth ditch where the clay comes from.


Potter puts clay in the earth-pounding-clay-making machine.


Kneading the clay.


The potter at the wheel.


Pot!!


And then we all got a turn to make a pot. With the help of the professional potter, we made some pretty mediocre -as opposed to terrible- pieces.

A Day in the Life

This is what my walk to the train looks like. It's truly amazing use the Andes as geographic orientation in the city. In New York, I use the Empire State Building to orient myself, which isn't exactly on the North/South axis, but it's close enough. Here, however, the mountains are a huge topographical marker that stretch across the continent. It's an epic view. When I look towards the mountains, I am reminded that on the other side is Argentina, that my ancestors may have gazed at this same body of land, and that nature - something so terrifyingly beautiful - must be respected.


Where else does one see palm trees, bare trees, snow-capped mountains, and highways in one setting?


A Day in the Life...(woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head...)
Note: The following is not really what most days here are like. I just felt like writing. It's in question and answer style, which is appropriate because most of this dialogue actually occurred in my head.

9:45am: Why is it freezing? Because there is no central heating in this city.
10:00am: Why am I still in the shower? Because it is the first time it has been this hot for this long in days.
11:30am: Why am I still at home studying my astrological chart when I meant to leave two hours ago? Because the only thing I really have to do today is buy school supplies and pick up my stipend from the Tufts office. Relax.
12:00pm: Is Home Center the Latin American version of Home Depot? I'm going to say, yes.
12:10pm: Is my Spanish advanced enough to find the materials for my ceramics class in this Home Depot look alike? No. Must find help.
12:20pm: Why is this Home Center worker asking for my phone number? Because he has no Chilean friends that are his age. Great, that makes two of us.
1:00 pm: How much do I enjoy going to the Tufts office and finding people from the program sitting around eating lunch? A lot. Meera, Tilly, Katrina and I had a nice chat about thesis writing.
3:15 pm: Why don't I get to go to Spanish class and socialize with the rest of the Tufts in Chile group? Because the teacher said it would be a waste of my time. Instead I should take three classes at UChile that are going to take up tons of my time.
3:30pm: Am I going to survive Sociology of Economics, the class with a 7 page syllabus, in SPANISH? Hopefully.
4:00pm: Why does Chile not have normal sized papayas that I can replicate for my ceramics project? Perhaps because Santiago is too far south to have plump and delicious fruit (not that I think papaya is delicious - yuck).
4:05pm: Why did that girl look at me like I forced her to trip over my bags? I still don't know.
4:07pm: Why do old ladies think it's okay to weigh their banana(or "platano" as they call it in Chile) ahead of you when you were obviously waiting there for the man to weigh your mini papayas? Okay, maybe she was waiting too, and I just didn't see her...
4:18pm: How did you manage to say your phone number incorrectly and put 5000 pesos on SOMEONE ELSE'S phone? Because you clearly don't know the difference between the numbers 44 and 45 in Spanish. See, I do need that Spanish class.
4:25pm: Why didn't I ask Carmen Gloria about picking up my Chilean ID card at the Registro Civil when I was in the Tufts office? Forgetfulness. Typical.
4:40pm: Why have I been sweating profusely for the last four hours? Because it's about 21 degrees centigrade, and I'm wearing a NorthFace coat. Plus social anxiety doesn't help.
4:45pm: These directions are not difficult, so why can't I find the Registro Civil? Because there's a sauna inside my coat, my feet hurt, these school supplies and groceries are getting heavy, oh and I'm in a foreign city.
4:50pm: Why didn't Carmen Gloria tell me that the Registro Civil would be CLOSED? Murphy. Or she thought that I knew that it wouldn't be open after 14:00 hours. Blast.
5:00pm: Should I sit and rest in this unpopulated area under the bridge? No - must avoid robbery, especially after picking up weekly stipend. Must keep walking.
5:15pm: When did I leave this 1000 pesos in my pocket? Don't know, but I'll give it to this homeless woman begging by the metro station.
5:20pm: How badly do I have to pee, and how much do I regret buying a huge bottle of water that would weigh my arms and my bladder down this much? Have to pee very badly. Resent the water even though it kept me from eating fried street food and sugary snacks.
5:40pm: Why do groups of 8 year-old-boys look at me like I'm the Ice Cream truck, and yell at me from their soccer bus windows? Maybe because I look like a 10-year-old girl? Probably not.
5:42pm: Why do 40 year old men look at me like I owe them some kind of sexual favor, or stare at me like I'll do a dance/turn into a wild animal/give them magical powers if they look at me for long enough? Maybe because I often feel like a 40-year-old woman? Probably not.
5:47pm: Will coming home to once (once, is like tea time at 6:00pm. It's meant to be a snack between lunch and dinner), and my host mom watching Chilean talk shows about teen relationships make my day? Yes.
7:49pm: After writing this entry, does this day seem as cruddy as it felt? No.

Yum Yum

Check out the fish that my country of residence is feeding us:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/27/world/americas/27salmon.html?_r=2



(blogspot is messing with me. where is the friggin normal link, blogspot?!?!)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Fried

Yesterday, as I trotted from La Historia de la Expansión Europea en Latino América to Cerámica, I was quite deceived by a snack along the way...

You see, had eaten lunch at around noon, and entered Historia de la Exponsión Europea en Latino América at 2:30. This class, or "ramo" as they call them here in Chile, was filled with about 30 first year history students. The class felt a bit like the public high school, or the "standard" American high school that I never went to. And I mean that in an uncertain, as opposed to a condescending, manner (I was told by one of my fellow Tufts students that her host family called la Universidad de Chile a "ghetto public school" as an insult. Oh, how I love the bourgeoisie. But that's a different conversation). Anyway, I got a real high school vibe that I never really felt growing up. Students giggled with their groups of friends, the professor had to ask the everyone to stop talking several times, a few students were reprimanded for having cell phones, two girls left the class holding hands and looking very concerned. They never came back. Surprisingly, the classroom dynamics were a lot more interesting than the class itself.

But back to the story. When this class ended, I had to run to ceramics, where I would be for the next two hours. By this time, however, it was about 4pm, and my small lunch was not holding me up too well. So, on the way to "la facultad de artes" I stopped at one of the food/snack vendors on campus. In front of me was a plate of "berliners" - fist-sized balls of bread with a slice down the middle that were filled with "manjar" (manjar is a light brown, creamy paste made of cooked milk and sugar). They were 250 pesos each (1 dollar = about 500 pesos), so I bought one to scarf down as I walked to my next class. As I bit down into my nutritious ball of dough, I realized that not only was this a chunk of bread stuffed with milk and sugar, but it was a fried chunk of bread stuffed with milk and sugar. Fantastic. So much for trying to stay healthy. It was like eating three deep fried doughnuts and seven tablespoons of warm caramel. It was delicious. Still, I thought I might have a heart attack from running to class and eating this thing at the same time. Needless to say, the berliner held me over until dinner and beyond. I think it's still sitting in my stomach, which is why I wrote this post.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Pieces

Oh boy. I’m finding it difficult to sum up this week. Each time I begin to describe it, I then begin to contradict myself. It was the first week of classes, the first week in my new home, and the first week that I was responsible for getting places on my own. It was exciting, yet uneventful and relaxed. It was slightly stressful, yet not at all difficult. It was a new culture, yet my feelings of uneasiness and intrigue were quite familiar. The only consistency was that my mind, as usual, was filled with ideas, criticisms, comparisons, and general thoughts on my experiences.

On Classes:
I went to five classes this week. I am only going to take three classes (plus an internship teaching English), but it is “shopping period” where students go to several classes before making a final decision. Of the three sociology classes I went to, only one – Sociology of Gender – was interesting enough to face the challenge of a high level seminar in Spanish. After class, I spoke with some of the students who had been in class with me. They expressed mild interest in the North Americans, but were very generous when I needed help finding the “fotocopiadora” where everyone copies their course materials (copyright laws here are pretty lax). Later that week, I went to The Social History of Latin America, which is known to be a class for “gringos.” Unfortunately, it was cancelled. Finally, my ceramics class was hands on, and quite enjoyable. I spent most of the time making clay with four other American students from California. This was not helping me make any Chilean friends, so I went around chatted with some of the art students whose projects were quite impressive.

On Campus:
The Universidad de Chile is a large university that has several campuses all over Santiago. Fortunately, I am taking all of my classes at one campus, which houses the departments of social sciences, visual arts, humanities, journalism, and philosophy. This campus looks like a mix between a public high school, the east village, and Wesleyan University. The students, who mostly still live at home, pack their lunches or eat at the various cafeterias on campus. They sit in their groups of four to 12, converse, eat, drink and study. I felt like the new kid in 12th grade as I walked through the campus sans amigos. Although I have never been the new kid, the feeling of apprehension and a need to fit in and make friends was familiar, perhaps, just from years of being in the social world. Anyway, most of the students rock a trendy/indigenous/rasta/punk look. And the political graffiti on all the buildings adds an appropriate sense of protest to the whole atmosphere. I am comforted by the normality of the mood of resistance, as it is in line with my own politics.

On Homelife:
Things are going well at home. My host mom, Alejandra, is still cooking great meals, and giving me hot water bottles to keep my feet, warm at night. She’s also given me some pointers about surviving in Santiago: make sure that taxi drivers don’t over charge you, and don’t tip them; only use your cell phone in stores, so you don’t get robbed; don’t carry too much money; make Chilean friends so you can have fun Chilean style.

I’ll try to put up some pictures soon. I’m a little sick of the semi-exploitative-touristy-picture thing I’ve been doing all summer, but what are Americans for anyway?

Fun Activity:
Today, two of my Tufts friends and I did some Bikram Yoga, aka Fire Yoga. It was HOT. The room was heated to about 40 degrees centigrade, which was a nice change from the 13 degrees I've been feeling all day. Lots of profuse sweating in the class, but it felt really good.