Goodbye

I've been waking up with that anxious feeling that usually occurs the morning of a big trip. But lucky for me, I've been waking up with that same anxiety for the last two weeks. I am incredibly excited to return home to my city (well, near the city), to my family, and to my friends. But I believe that most of my anxiety is a product of the realization that I may never come back to Chile. I spent 10 months living in one house, in one city, learning one culture, making as many meaningful connections as possible. And in four days, that will all be a part of a world that I may never see again. Chile is a fairly unknown country in my social groups (at least it was), it is further away than it looks on any Gringo map, and I only know five people who share my Boston - Santiago experience. Because of this, I feel as though my year in Chile will seem to be a distant memory once I arrive in the New York City heat (I am currently inside, and sitting in my winter coat), surrounded by people whose culture I'm supposed to belong to, and holding a year in the life that feels so random, but that has meant so much.
And so to calm my nerves, I shall express some final comparisons.

Things I will miss about Santiago de Chile:
- My friends. Though I often say that I didn't make many Chilean friends, I do think that I met a good amount of wonderful Chileans (and the non-Chileans) that I did become close with.
- Homemade food at the universities. At both La Chile and La Católica, students and non-students would make soy burgers, brownies, fruit cups, sushi, etc. and sell them on campus. It became a part of my routine to buy a big fruit cup on Mondays and Wednesdays, and soy burger on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Delicious.
- An efficient metro. Though I will certainly not miss the crowded subway cars, and people bumping and touching me at rush hour, I will miss the cleanliness and efficiency of the metro. I also have mixed feelings about the televisions in the metro stations and in the subway cars. Though I have enjoyed watching many a music video, I have also been frustrated by the commercials and constant noise.
- Latin American kindness. I think that Chile is one of the colder (in both temperature and affection) Latin American countries. But the honesty, love of the family, formality, and natural physical contact that occurs in Chile is not so common in Gringolandia. I am quite happy to be of Latin American descent, knowing that these customs are still a part of me.

Things I will not miss about Santiago de Chile:
- Dogs. Well, I have mixed feelings about the dogs, too. It is quite fascinating to observe so many unusual mutts everyday, and to observe their canine interactions. However, it is also disturbing to see so many homeless animals, especially when they're curled up and freezing cold... or dead. Today, I saw two dogs fighting so intensely that several people had to use metal poles to stop them.
- Street food. Traditional Chilean home cooking is delicious. But the food on the street consists mostly of hotdogs drenched in avocado and mayonaise (called completos), friend starch, and other bland foods.
- People staring at me. Yep, I still haven't gotten accustomed to it. I worry that I've gotten so used to staring back that I'm going to be in trouble when I go back to NYC.